Who are you now and who do you want to be?

At the nucleus, the conversations I have with my clients focus in on this question. What it reveals is The Gap between the life you’ve lived and your unlived life. By identifying The Gap, we start seeing what truly matters and what does not. Like a sculptor chiseling away at a block of marble, this question gets down to your masterpiece—to your heart. It clears away all distractions so you can see what you really want and what it will take to get there.

You know what you want and what it will take. Now how do you get there?

The answer is, one foot in front of the other. When you journey to the top of the mountain, you may know the terrain and the direction to the summit, but you only ever see what’s right in front of you. I cannot tell you what will come next but I can tell you that I’ll be right there with you, putting one foot in front of the other. Whether the journey throws us into hell or finds us climbing up into the light, we’re doing this together. And the more challenges you come to, the more challenges you’ll want.

Here are the traits of the people I love working with—does this describe you?

The person who will change is the one who sees the challenge it will take to achieve their desired outcome, and decides that the pain and discomfort they must go through to achieve it is far preferable to the thought of remaining in the comfort zone—of remaining the same. This is the adventurer in life and the person I can coach. I find them incredibly inspirational because:

• They swing for the fences—They realize there is no juice in playing small and timid. When they decide to go, they decide to go full on.
• They dare, and they dare greatly—They go after unreasonable and impractical goals because while they’re alive, they really want to live. And what makes one feel more alive than facing fears in the pursuit of a worthy ideal?
• They soak up the whole experience—Life isn’t just happiness. Life is challenge and pain and excitement and love. Life is seeing what you’re made of and my clients want to experience as much life as possible.
• They care for others—They gain strength by helping others live better lives. They know that their mission goes beyond themselves. Their pocket of the world, no matter how large or big, will be left better by them having lived.
• They take time for leisure—They know that earned leisure is sweet leisure. That the fruits of their labor are meant to be enjoyed. Their nature will put them back to work, but life is tension and relaxation. Rejuvenating themselves with comfort and loved ones will help them come back to their world reinvigorated.
• They play like children—They take to heart Nietzsche’s definition of maturity: having “the seriousness of a child at play.” Children are constantly playing, growing, learning and accomplishing. That is much more than most adults can claim. My clients aren’t like most adults either.
• They want the truth—They didn’t come to me to be coddled. They came to me for the same reason Daniel came to Mr. Miyagi in Karate Kid: because they wanted to be better, to be held accountable, to be expected to achieve a high standard.
• They fail...a lot—They approach the world like a scientist. They know that every failed attempt is a step closer to their goal because it tells them the way NOT to do it. Failure for them is not the closed door, it’s the key.